Suddenly wake up this morning feel like everything is so wrong feeling defeated. Don't really know what's happening around me. I really don't like this feeling at all.
When I really want something and I could never get it, it really pissed me off big time. I have the picture with me at my computer and phone, looking at it as there's no tomorrow. I wish that it would came true to me just with a blink of an eye, of course it will never happen like that.
I always try my best to fight for it and most of the time I fall down real bad and it hurts a lot but I just tell myself I can do it and keep get up and run for it till I get it. I have too much scars beneath my skin and those scars will never recover and it will remain there for eternity till the day I become ashes again.
And so to overcome it, I decided to not look at it, not to think about it and not to obsess about it. My 'I want' list has been going on for too long and it burdens me. The only way is to take it all away from my sight forever. That's what I think will be the best for me. I'm on my own, it's me against the world.
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